Grief does not stop just because the coronavirus started.

The more time we spend in social distancing and isolation, the more time we are alone with our thoughts. Sometimes we find ourselves grieving more. Sometimes we even start to “regrieve,” actually grieving all over again.

I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to tell you that grief can be an extremely lonely and isolating experience. The way in which your loss affects you is very much an individual experience and only you know its full impact on your body, mind, and soul. Essentially, it feels like you and your grief are alone together.

One of the hardest parts of the immediate days and weeks following the death of a loved one is the return to the workplace, where many people spend up to eight or more hours a day with their colleagues, clients, customers, patients, and students.

Christmas and Hanukkah are almost here, and while adults are strategizing how to survive the holidays, children are likely to be wondering the same thing, in their own quiet way, with little ability to articulate the questions which will bring them the answers. Here are some pointers to keep in mind and HELP YOU HELP THE GRIEVING CHILDREN in your life “make it through.”

Do you fall to pieces at the sound of a Christmas song playing in the store and wonder how one song can ruin your shopping trip? Do you stare at the adult buying a gift for her child as you grieve the loss of yours? Do you want to kick every Christmas tree that you see? Do you want to rip the December page right out of the calendar and hide under the covers until it’s over?

Having sat with clients for these several weeks as we enter the “holiday season,” working through sadness, fear, confusion and a whole bowl of assorted emotions piling one upon another, I find myself at a (rare) loss for new words to give.

Back in July, a reporter from The New York Times called me to talk about a topic she was considering writing about. She had been noticing that whenever she went to visit a certain relative who was newly widowed, she noticed that this woman was usually microwaving her dinner ... a simple piece of fish, perhaps. The unusual part about this is that this woman used to cook and entertain, and make proper meals. So, this was out of character.

The reason for this change is very simple. Her husband died, and like so many other widows and widowers, she found it simply too difficult to make a “real meal” for dinner.

In my work with grieving children, the question always arises, “Should my child(ren) attend the funeral?”

There’s no lack of books on grief out there, but there are some favorites to share…