Autumn is the Season of Grief and Death
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Changing Seasons — They Play a Role in Grief
Seasons are known for the feelings they evoke and the part they play in our life cycle of life and death. Each season changes and brings its own reminders of loss.
Seasonal grief is a situation in which traditions and memories of each season tug at the heart of a grieving person, reminding them of what was lost. More than 50 percent of grieving people say they experience seasonal grief.
How Other Cultures View Autumn
In Asian mysticism and Chinese medicine, Autumn is considered the season of Grief. While summer is associated with the emotion of joy, autumn is associated with both courage and sadness. If you are grieving, you can probably feel the truth of that association for yourself, because, in Autumn, things are dying.
The light is dying as Earth’s orbit around the sun and tilt on its axis combine to carry us in this hemisphere further away from receiving the sun’s rays most directly. The days are getting shorter. Plants and trees are winding down their cycle of growth. Sadness – and courage – are natural emotions as these changes are taking place. Sadness is part of the autumn season. It is a part of nature.
Grieving Season
So, for grievers, the Fall season can be harder than other seasons. Here is a thoughtful piece from the What’s Your Grief? Whatsyourgrief.com website, explained by someone for whom Fall is her “grief season.”
As we’ve seen in the summer season, there can be a feeling of vibrance and abundance. Then, the season turns to one that can evoke the feeling of numbness and pain. This can mimic how we feel when we go from a life filled with our loved one to a new, empty life, with his or her void.
Is This an Accurate Way to Describe Grief?
It feels like a description of the initial phases of grief. If the fall season symbolizes loss or death itself, winter is the darkness that follows, as if to be the aftershock of it all.
Fall is a visually a season of loss. Fall is nature’s season of death. After all, you can’t get much closer to the reminder of a loss and death than the browning and falling of the leaves.
When is Seasonal Grief Present?
Seasonal grief can show up throughout the year for those experiencing grief. Fall transitioning into winter can give us a feeling of bleakness and darkness as if nothing will grow green again or become alive and abundant. The purpose of the shedding of the leaves is to provide enough nourishment for the earth’s soil to grow more leaves for the arrival of spring.
As seasons change, we move to the “what is the reality left” phase of the grief experience. While our lives will never be the same again, grief work can slowly help us identify what remains in our lives.
Our core group of family friends, neighbors, and support system help us preserve and to grow and move forward, as the seasons do.
Those grieving the death of a loved one may find that, through loss, there can be a rediscovery of life, just as, after Autumn succumbs to Winter, next will come the Spring season of hope and renewal as the cycle begins again.
In the later stages of grief, we are reminded that we can find joy and meaning in life once more.
Darkness is not to be feared if it can lead to the place of light.
Here’s a very poignant commentary called “Grief in Autumn .. I’m alone and Missing You.” Posted on friendsforsurvival.org
Some tools to help combat and support your Autumn grief.
First of all, don’t fight it. Feeling your grief and understanding it is a step towards healing.
Take as good care of yourself as possible. Comforting foods, comforting conversations with friends and warmth can help.
Reach out to a professional grief counselor, because you deserve to have the support you need during grief.
Remind yourself that in years past, the seasons have come and gone in your life. From some losses and seasons, have come newness and possibilities.
If you are prone to seasonal depression, seek medical attention and treatment.
Don’t remain isolated, even though it’s wintertime. Find solace alone when needed, but find company and life in others and from the outside world.
Soothe yourself with some pampering indulgences.
Enjoy comfort foods that warm and nourish the body and soul.
Here is a poem presented by the Hospice of Santa Barbara, Autumn: A Grief Poem, by Lauren Myles Cumberbatch.
Even while grieving, there is an opportunity to discover the rich harvest of memories with our loved ones who in their “summertime” provided us with a bounty of their own. If we choose to accept it, it can become a season in which we reflect on the abundance of memories brought to us by our loved ones in their smiles, laughter, humor, growth, and sharing of love. How we loved them and how they loved us back.
If the grief is new for you, this may seem next to impossible. But know that in time, you may feel this way and there will be a time in which you can appreciate the light at the end of the tunnel of grief.
